Jeff
05-25-2007, 11:03 AM
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
************************************************** *****************
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U Continue to do so.
************************************************** *****************
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
************************************************** *****************
Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other
problem can there be greater than this one?"
__________________________________________________ __
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries
or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
__________________________________________________ ___________________
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me
to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Stress Reliever # 4
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrow! ed it. He wants to scare his parents."
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Stress Reliever # 6
Interviewer to Milionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: " Billionaire"
__________________________________________________ ___________________
Stress Reliever # 7
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
__________________________________________________ _____________________
Stress Reliever # 8
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
************************************************** *****************
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other
ensures U Continue to do so.
************************************************** *****************
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
************************************************** *****************
Stress Reliever # 1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other
problem can there be greater than this one?"
__________________________________________________ __
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries
or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
__________________________________________________ ___________________
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me
to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Stress Reliever # 4
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if
my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER
WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrow! ed it. He wants to scare his parents."
__________________________________________________ ____________________
Stress Reliever # 6
Interviewer to Milionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: " Billionaire"
__________________________________________________ ___________________
Stress Reliever # 7
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
__________________________________________________ _____________________
Stress Reliever # 8
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.