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Thread: Joke Anyone (scottish Joke )

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  1. Smile Joke Anyone (scottish Joke ) 
    #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    649
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    7
    A Glaswegian stops before a graveyard in a Gorbals cemetery, and notices a carved tombstone declaring,
    "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man..."
    "Ach, who'd ever think..." he murmered, "there'd be enough room fer two men in that one wee grave..."
    "And surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age"
     

  2. Default  
    #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN/SA LASANG GUD...
    Age
    39
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    6
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    Wedding Test




    I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been

    dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only

    one little thing bothering me... It was her beautiful younger sister.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight

    miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down

    when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to

    be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

    One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check

    the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered

    to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
    overcome.

    She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and

    committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and
    couldn't

    sayword.

    She said, I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last

    wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock

    as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then

    turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door,

    and headed straight towards my car.

    Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all

    clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,

    "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask

    for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

    And the moral of this story is.


    "Always keep your condoms in your car."
     

  3. Default  
    #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN/SA LASANG GUD...
    Age
    39
    Posts
    6
    Rep Power
    0
    Ang tulang ito ay sumisimbulo sa aming mga Pinoy na pilit nilalakasan
    ang loob dito sa ibayong dagat kahit masakit tanggaping mapalayo.

    Pilit lilisanin pansamantala ang buhay sa mga tungkulin.....bilang, AMA,
    INA, ANAK, at MAMAMAYAN

    ...... isang desisyong masakit tanggapin sa unang pagkakataon subalit
    unti-unting hinuhubog ng mga panahong ninais makayakap ang mahal sa
    buhay at lumigaya sa tahanang iniiwan.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    -----------------------------------------

    Lumipad ka AGILA...

    Lumipad ka Agila mula sa iyong pugad
    Humanap ng pagkain sa iyong mga sisiw
    Na di alintana ang panganib sa kalakhang daigdig
    Nang ang sisiw mo'y lumaki ng busog at makisig

    Lumipad ka Agila, taglay ang iyong lipad na tikas
    Ang iyong kakisigan ang siyang taglay mong lakas
    Ipagmalaki mo ang iyong bantayog na sikad
    Dahil ikaw ay kilalang magaling at mapatapang saan man mapadpad.

    Hayaan ang lipad mong pasulong ang aahon sa iyo
    Huwag kang lumingon sa iyong pugad baka ikaw ay maluha
    Sa mga iniwan mong anak na bibig ay naka-nganga
    Naghihintay sa pagkain na iyong ipadadala.

    Matapang ka, Agila. Ikaw ay bayaning ibon
    Huwag mahinaan ng loob, magsikap sa ibayo
    Nang ang pugad mong iniwa'y di madaling masira ng bagyo
    O sa anumang panahon, mananatili ito.

    Di mo man alintana ang paglaki ng iyong mga sisiw,
    Pangarap mo may matupad o hindi papalarin
    Bumalik ka man na sagana o may dalang pagsisisi,
    Ikaw ay Agila pa rin na isang bayani.

    Hinubog ka sa buhay upang maging matapang
    at Namulat ka sa paligid na sagana ngunit may kulang
    Patuloy ang pinanggalingan mo'y nakakulong sa hawla na bakal
    Nang mga sakim na bibig sa bahay na masilaw.

    Tingnan mo ang liwanag, Agila
    Talasan mo ang iyong mga mata
    Ikaw ay magsinop sa iyong kinatatayuan
    Para sa mga sisiw mong iniwan...

    Iangat mo pa ang pakpak, Agila
    Malayo pa ang liliparin mo
    Mula sa paligid na iniwan mo
    at sa mga hamon na darating sa iyo

    Sa iyong pagbabalik Mabuhay ka, Agila!
    at damhim mo ang sarap sa iyong pagod na mga pakpak
    Ang samyo ng mga yapos ng iyong mga sisiw
    At sa kagubatan mong iyong ginigiliw.


    Best Regards,

    Ore L. Hendive
    Doha, Qatar ArticlesMedia Links
     

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