Thread: The Divorce Letter

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  1. Default The Divorce Letter 
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Six feet below the ground
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    Dear Wife:

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to

    you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

    Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

    Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked

    your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.

    You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after

    watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex

    anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me. Whichever is the

    case,,,,I'm gone.

    Your Ex-husband

    Don't try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!


    Dear Ex-husband:

    Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It's true that you and

    I have been married for seven years, although a 'good man' is a far cry from what you've

    been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and

    griping. It's just too bad it doesn't work.

    Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week and actually the first thing that came

    to my mind was "You look just like a girl" but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can't say any thing nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must

    'have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

    I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was

    still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty

    dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99...

    After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered

    that I had hit the lotto for twenty-million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to

    Hawaii . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I

    hope you have the fulfilling life you've always wanted.

    My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my sister "Carla"was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem for you.
    Last edited by justme; 01-23-2009 at 10:36 PM.

  2. Default  
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
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    Thinking out loud! Laughing out loud! Ha ha ha ha

  3. Default  
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Really funny! Ha ha ha..

    But you know, there is a good lesson in it.

  4. Default  
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Butuan City
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    Somehow we don't have this in the Philippines.

  5. Default  
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    heheh good for him...

  6. Default  
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    I live somewhere near Naval
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff View Post
    Somehow we don't have this in the Philippines.
    Foreigners come, and bring their ways with them For better or for worse there will be divorce in the Philippines one day. It is only my prediction

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