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  1. Default Comments and criticism are welcomed, just write a comment on my profile 
    #1
    My name is Preston Stearns, proud to be American and currently located in the United States, I have visited The Philippines twice.

    I am here in public to right a wrong however due to my respect for decorum I will now only be taking comments on my profile, if you care to contribute/criticize to my ongoing endeavor then please do so there. Criticism in itself is usually a positive contribution in light of the following:
    "Our critics are our friends" - Benjamin Franklin
    But I am getting sick of the PREJUDICE I am receiving here, is this the norm in your province?

    My hope is for truth, forgiveness, and reconciliation, these are my goals. Hope to arrive there by the processes of speaking truth, restraining prejudice, listening, and understanding. Some things were taken from me, in a most unjust fashion, although in their [the Nies] defense I really do not think they had this planned out in advance, as in, there was no premeditation. I defend the truth even when it is not in my favor, it must be kept pure for it to function at all. There were some very nasty words said in the previous time, I have removed all of mine in the interests of all. may we all move forward soon.

    If you are not familiar with my case then be advised I am not here to attest to strangers, I tried that and was asked to stop by a nuetral and anonymous member of this forum, whereupon I did just that. However on the flip side of that if you know the family in Biliran that I am having problems with I then invite you to give your comments on the situation via message BUT you need to know that if you leave a "visitor message" it will be visible to ALL who then view my profile. If you want to leave a PM then it will be held in confidence.

    They are the Nies family in Naval, who I have been trying to contact since May of 2009, but since they have not responded to my polite emails and letters handwritten here I am now. I have several greivances and am trying to address them outside of the legal system mostly because the legal system will never solve them [in my opinion] let alone make it worse for the Nies. I am pro-actively trying to avoid all of that for all of our sakes, including trying to develop a friendship with an aid worker in the PI right now, who may be able to help me find the right mediator. I will pay a fee to the mediator, or make a donation but only in accordance with local custom, I do not want money involved but this is the real world.

    Roland: this about truth and forgiveness, you need to first comprehend that, you are an intelligent man but there are certain things which you are not centered for and I ask you to reach higher, as there is a higher power.

    We can't have truth without forgiveness and we can't have forgiveness without truth.

    I love your family, so think hard on this matter.

    General comments are ok on this thread, but I do not advise doing that, please visit my profile by clicking onto it and comment there. Thank you / Peace. Preston

    Luke 6:27 "But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you"
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-23-2010 at 02:53 AM.
     

  2. Default Help request 
    #2
    If the local clergy or any decent person willing to be a 3rd party mediator would like to get involved, or if you know the local clergy or wise person then you are greatly encouraged to reply or make those parties aware of this thread. Be a hero! And remember the center of this problem has little to do with money, it actually revolves around morality and integrity.

    I sincerely apologize for the disorder in my previous thread, I see my fault in that and it won't be repeated. I pray to return to Biliran someday in peace, not only personally proud but proud of all who assisted in turning a tragedy into a moral victory for ALL parties, especially the local family now in question because it will be just as much a victory for them as me. What are you made of Biliran? I want to know.

    You can go to my profile and leave a visitor message by clicking onto my name located on the left side of this post then click profile and when you get to my profile click visitor messages or you can PM me by clicking on my name then clicking private message.
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-17-2010 at 12:02 PM.
     

  3. Default  
    #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    West Coast
    Age
    41
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    Preston, I don't wanna sound rude, but you have to move on with your life man! That happens a while ago, and bringing this up now won't do both parties any good! I personally knew that family you're thrashing. They are a decent and respected family! If it is not about money, why even mention the amount you sent? I'm pretty sure it was heartily given by your generousity and not because the family demanded it!

    Stop this crap and move on buddy! There are lots of women out there, if you want to get your 2nd chance of love in PI, be nice and keep your thoughts to yourself! By doing this, you will scare the hell of Filipinas in the future! Charge it to your experience and you will be wiser in the future! Peace out!!!
     

  4. Default  
    #4
    Hello, I do not take offense and you are not being rude at all but what about the thrashing I have received over the past 2 years? nothing on that right? I mentioned the amount of the money in the case the husband was angry enough to pay it, he could then tell me -"hey I paid you, so shut up now about money!" , but he can also say "Peace, here is your money back, it was for my wife's education I will now want to be the one who paid for it, be well..." we all have options in most things, you yourself have the option of giving me the benefit of the doubt. Also this is only fair to say how much money, then it can be known as in general, this is called transparency, and without transparency i will fail in my quest...or do you just expect everyone who stands up for himself to be unfair? I am asking why Roland agreed to pay it but why now he won't. Interestingly Sheena said to me the money went to her education but that was a confusing thing for me.

    You say this happened a while ago, but you are missing key information which absolves me of the time elapsed. Roland had asked me for a long amount of time in which to repay the money so in accordance with his wishes I froze the other greivances and they are now to be viewed as fresh ones, since he did not reply to me in this time period,... the one he asked for, he is the one who is responsible for the time passed and I have his email from that time which confirms his request.

    I have written the family every month since then, including emails it will be more than that, I can show a list of 30+ emails to you and they are in each month of the past 1 1/2 years. I can also show Roland's reply emails which ended in May 2009. Do you solve problems by ignoring them? I don't and I have little respect for anyone who does. I gave every option I could think of to the Nies before I came to this forum, bear that in mind.

    You talk about moving on, I can say the same thing to the Nies they need to move on from what they did, move on to correcting that which was wrong, move on into peace through telling the truth. Peace by admitting the hard facts.

    I need closure but you wouldn't understand if you didn't see the beginning of the movie, so I can and do understand why you say move on but can only tell you that you are not fully informed. I am trying to move on, and I am doing something about it, did you ever think about it that way? I think you are just prejudiced, and petty, would you even give me the smallest amount of credit for my patience? Apparently not. Do you always make judgement without knowing the facts? That's what prejudice is. Neither you or anyone else has been able to post ONE thing here telling anything, or showing how I have done even one thing wrong at all.

    This case is not about money, although the money was and you are correct given from love.
    It's about closure, morality, and integrity.
    My one request is for people to look at this matter as a movie and not a snapshot. If you only see the snapshot you will have no true understanding of the movie. I don't know why people want to judge before they know the facts, hubris is my guess, but the answer probably does sit somewhere between fear and ignorance. i would want all the facts in place where they need to be before I judged ANYONE.

    John 7:24 "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgement"

    In any case, I am happy for you to express your opinion, you have the right. Thank you for it.

    Preston
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-23-2010 at 02:59 AM.
     

  5. Default  
    #5
    Join Date
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    Location
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    Age
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    Them thrashing you in the last couple years? MMM, i wonder what did they do to you for you to come out now?!? Say, they did ignore you and all, not replying back on emails or blocking you, whatsoever, but, is it thrashing? Unless, they posted your name on any blog or local forum, dragging your name and calling you names or whatever, then that is thrashing for me! With this unfinished business thingy, instead of moving on and forgetting the past, you posted it in a public forum and spelled your guts, when you can always privately respond to other people's query.

    One last advise: Move on and get a life, start looking for a nicer girl and this time, be wiser and don't send money, if you only regret doing it afterwards! Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes not, you're not the first time, lol...

    Here's a great vid for you: Remember: It's just money!!!! LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKlUH...feature=search
     

  6. Default  
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by shopaholic View Post
    Them thrashing you in the last couple years? MMM, i wonder what did they do to you for you to come out now?!? Say, they did ignore you and all, not replying back on emails or blocking you, whatsoever, but, is it thrashing? Unless, they posted your name on any blog or local forum, dragging your name and calling you names or whatever, then that is thrashing for me!
    Oh, so I am supposed to go only by your definition of thrashing? The thrashing I am speaking of is emotional, do you allow me that? Please be generous. And dragging a name, who did what first? Do you know? Do you think it's possible they drag their own name? , karma?

    [/QUOTE]With this unfinished business thingy, instead of moving on and forgetting the past, you posted it in a public forum and spelled your guts, when you can always privately respond to other people's query.[/QUOTE]

    I have to agree. I was wrong to say so much so fast. WOW someone admitted to being wrong what a surprise, maybe this activity will become a trend, can only hope.

    [/QUOTE]One last advise: Move on and get a life,[/QUOTE]

    I have a life, I am well, but thank you for expressing the sentiment. I have a beautiful family and an interesting job. I also do other work and am studying engineering among other interesting subjects. Will you be asking the Nies to move on as well? Or am I the only one who you have knowledge of, knowledge enough to judge, do you really have it? Are you sure?

    [/QUOTE]start looking for a nicer girl and this time, be wiser and don't send money, if you only regret doing it afterwards! Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes not, you're not the first time, lol...

    Here's a great vid for you: Remember: It's just money!!!! LOL

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKlUH...feature=search[/QUOTE]

    And by the way, how did you arrive at the conclusion that I am the one who started with the name calling? I do NOT appreciate that comment at all. This is a false accusation and I will let it go this time, but may I say I am tired of being falsely accused.
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-21-2010 at 07:36 AM.
     

  7. Default  
    #7
    If you read my post I said I gave them every option, that includes the option of time, I took the abuse for a long time, and I won't take it anymore. The return of the money has a symbolic meaning which you don't know about!

    And what would anyone be scared about? Are they scared of the truths that may come out? Would a Filipina be scared to lie to me? I hope she would be, I hope my future wife would be scared to deceive anyone but only in that she would be going against God in that, I hope I would be scared to lie to her too. I am a man of peace, but do not come and violate me I do not run away from it.
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-22-2010 at 03:18 PM.
     

  8. Default  
    #8
    And just to be very clear I have emailed Roland that I am not accepting any written communications from Sheena about this problem. Any email from her will be deleted. Sheena is a very shy person and the probability is that she will not be writing from her heart, the heart which is the part I am interested in. I will accept a phone call if she wants to call me and she needs to be alone when she calls me, if someone is with her during the call that could make her words biased and not her true words.

    And Sheena if you are reading here, if you want to call me you can PM me for my phone #, my promise is that anything you say will never be repeated. Did you ever know me to not keep a promise? I think I have a right to an explanation, my request is for you to think hard first and remember this one thing above everything else: ONE word can turn a lie, ONE WORD. That's my offer to you, you can take it / leave it I don't expect to hear from you because you are not brave enough but you got the invitation. I hope nobody takes away any of your rights.

    You said you were an adult woman, but you know? I never believed that, I did believe it was what others told you, so I REALLY DON"T FAULT YOU ABOUT THAT, but, this is one of the reasons I broke up with you, it would have been so hard to deal with a person who did not know herself well enough and only has what others told her in her mind. I was willing to wait for you to mature, I offered for you to visit me in the US. I would have waited and I tried to teach you do you remember? SELF KNOWLEDGE. THINK FOR YOURSELF. I hope you now are "your own person". I want you to be happy, of course i do, with a good life always. Always.

    Filipinos talk about the value of honesty, can someone tell me ONE lie I made? I got called a liar, BUT, when I asked "what is the lie?" - I got silence -why is there no answer to a direct question? Answer me that will you, if you please to do so. Thank you in advance.
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-23-2010 at 03:05 AM.
     

  9. Default  
    #9
    shopaholic I got your PM, [EDITED]... your 75% BIASED advice is not helping, but thank you for your criticism, you have added to the discussion.
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-22-2010 at 01:53 PM.
     

  10. Default  
    #10
    I am just going to come back every week and ask another question here in a series of questions which I challenge the Nies family to answer. Very interesting to note: in the 10 days I have been here, and 39 posts, there has not been much questioning of merit asked me by observers. Shopaholic did in fact help, absolutely. ButSo I have to say to myself, does anyone care what the real truth is? Questions and observation are part of what gets the truth out into the open, I feel like Diogenes. I'm not saying there is no honesty in pinoy culture, know why? becasue I am not qualified to speak about that, but anyone can see my point here. Is anyone going to ask some honest questions to me?

    Here is my 1st question: Does Mike [the husband] know about this thread and if not why? It has everything to do with him as I am alleging wrongdoing by the family he has married into and it involves his wife. If I were him and knew about this situation I would get involved and make a post on this thread.

    "The truth is not simply what you think it is, it is the circumstances under which it is said, and to who, why, and how it is said" - Vacklav Havel (Czech playwright and politician)


    See you next week.

    [EDIT: I am so sorry for all the editing, I have been coping through some hard emotions so I plea that I am under stress. Some of the posts have changed their character and I have little excuse for that in itself. I apologize and if anyone would re-read the thread i would appreciate it, especially post #4, the 2nd paragraph you can just re-read that one and see a key bit of information- thank you! any future editing will be kept to a minimum and will be annotated, thanks!]
    Last edited by Preston Stearns; 08-23-2010 at 09:02 AM.
     

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